Trying to stay positive while venturing on to Round 10

Round 9 was very painful.  My ex was beyond angry.  He stopped taking the kids completely, but would show up when he felt like it and called constantly in an effort to make it difficult for me to go out.  The neighbours started watching for him and my Dad or a friend would come by often to make sure me and the kids were ok. 

After Mr. Contractor, I went into my profile and hid my picture.  I'd have to be more careful and screen potential dates a bit more closely to avoid a repeat incident.  As upset and scared as I was, anger fuelled my desire to find someone even more just so I could rub it in my ex's face.  Maybe then he'd leave me alone. 

I closed my eyes and held my breath...on to Round 10!

34. The Gentleman
He was tall, dark and handsome.  He was single, never married and no children. His introductory email was over a page long.  It was obvious he was a very good writer and eloquent speaker.  He looked very familiar. Turns out we had gone to the same junior high school and grew up in the same neighbourhood.  We had never been in the same class, but were the same age.  It was neat to be able to reminisce about junior high, our teachers and the old neighbourhood. 

We met for brunch soon after and could spend hours talking on the phone. He was a consummate gentleman, very attentive and extremely polite.  My having young children was a bit of a concern.  He had a visual impairment and had decided never to have children for fear that they would inherit the vision issues.  He had been through numerous surgeries and procedures, but they were unsuccessful. 

Our conversations could last for hours on any subject and he enjoyed trying new restaurants just as much as I did.  It was also nice to have someone to cook for that appreciated it.  We had a great time no matter what we did, but I still wanted to have more children.  I kept trying to convince myself that I should be happy with the 3 I already had, but I couldn't close that door and he was adamant that he would not change his mind.  Ultimately we agreed to disagree and remained friends. 

This was a refreshing change and it gave me a much needed boost.  Nice to know there were still some nice guys out there. 

35. The Building Manager
He was divorced with sole custody of his son.  He wasn't my usual type having blond hair with blue eyes, but he was certainly tall.  His emails were short and simple and after we talked I realized he wasn't one for emails or texting.  We went for coffee not long after.  He had called out of the blue and asked if I wanted to meet for coffee.  To this day I think it was a test to see how long it would take me to get ready since he only gave me a half hour's notice.  He thought for sure I'd take forever doing my crazy curly hair, but was pleasantly surprised when I was already waiting for him when he arrived.  He was also happy that I was tall.

He was extremely shy, but very nice.  He was a simpleton, liked hockey and was very dedicated to his son who he'd raised pretty much all on his own.  I admired that, it's not often a man is awarded sole custody and being a single parent is hard work.  He was the facility manager of a shopping mall, so he worked long hours and was always on call.  We went out a few times and had fun, but he was very unreliable.  Part of it was his shyness.  He also worked long hours, his son was into sports and he seemed rusty in the dating department.  Finances were an issue for him and my having 3 kids worried him.  One night while talking about salaries, he was shocked to learn what I made.  It seemed to be a problem that I made more than he did with full medical and dental benefits, even though I had 3 kids to feed.  Right after that the phone calls ceased.  Oh well, next!

36. The Former Minister
This is the guy that won best date #3.  He was divorced with one daughter and 2 step-daughters.  Previously he had been in the navy, then a religious minister who left the church and went into high tech.  When the market in Ottawa crashed, he lost everything; his job, his house, his wife and the children.  He was forced to start over at OC Transpo and after a long custody battle, only won visitation rights.

Our first date was great.  We had fun and he had a great sense of humour.  Sadly, he was very bitter.  He'd only been divorced for a little over a year and hadn't adjusted to living more modestly than he had grown accustomed to.  I knew more about his ex and her new boyfriend than I did about him.  All he could talk about was how she had cheated on him, he only got visitation of his daughter because she lied and now half of his salary was going to her even though she had a live in boyfriend and she made more than he did. 

Initially he seemed thrilled that I had 3 kids as he had always wanted a large family, but slowly that  changed.  We'd make plans and he'd show up with his daughter or he'd cancel and say she needed help with a project.  When I suggested bringing my kids too, he would say no.  His inconsistencies and mood swings were frustrating.  I also got the feeling he was seeing someone else.  One night he let it slip he was going to Kingston for the weekend to see a girl he was dating.  He quickly tried to rephrase it and said it was actually an old school friend.  Yeah right Honey, I didn't fall off a turnip truck yesterday.  He finally admitted he didn't want a serious relationship and I seemed to be more the marrying type.  But wait!  He had chosen long-term on his profile too.  Whatever, no point in trying to figure out how men think! 

37. Mr. Karate
He was tall and attractive, said he was divorced with joint custody of twin girls.  The profile picture was of him receiving his third degree black belt.  He seemed to be very active and we had similar backgrounds.  We were both European so family get togethers and food were huge in our homes. 

We had long talks and he was funny.  He worked as an IT consultant for the government.  I called a close friend of the family to find out if they knew him or of him.  A couple of days later she called me back and said, "He's not the kind of people you want to associate with."  She wouldn't elaborate any further.  I took it with a grain of salt.  I give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove me otherwise.  Eventually I learned he was working for my Director General and I was excited to meet him.  Suddenly all communication stopped with no explanation.  His profile disappeared.  Another magician!  A few weeks later I was setting up the logistics in the boardroom for my DG waiting for someone from IT to bring in the equipment.  Low and behold, who walks into the room?  OMG, he was huge.  The profile picture had to be at least 15 years old.  There was no resemblance to the svelte black belt in the picture, other than his face.  He was mortified and couldn't look me in the eyes.  I purposely walked over and introduced myself to him.  He said nothing and left the room. 

Sooner or later the truth always comes out.  Why do people bother lying and playing games?  I don't understand. 

Dateless in Ottawa